Homecoming
by Carly-M
Summary: Toadie gets his ultimate wish... Dee is back. Story complete.
1. Homecoming Part One

**TITLE:** Homecoming  
**AUTHOR:** Carly  
**RATING:** PG  
**FEEDBACK:** Yes please.  
**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own any of these characters.  
**SUMMARY:** She's back...  
**PAIRING/CHARACTERS:** Toadie/Dee, Angie/Kev, Stu, Connor  
**YEAR:** July 2004  
**UPDATED NOTES 29/12/04: **This fic is one of my favourite Neighbours ones I've written. I had the idea in my head for a while before I wrote it and even did some research for it which will hopefully become evident towards the end!  
**DATE:** 7/3/04 - 10/4/04

- - - -

**Chapter One**

**- - - -**

"Mr. Rebecchi. Mr. Rebecchi?"

Toadie looked up from his desk in a daze.

"Hmm? Oh, Sandra… sorry, I'm half-asleep here!"

Sandra gave him a smile. "That's okay Mr. Rebecchi, I've just got your tablets."

She handed him two cups, one with pills, and the other with water.

"Thank you. Are you about to head home?"

"I've just got a bit of paperwork to finish up and then I'm off. Did you need anything else?"

"No, I'm good. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Mr. Rebecchi."

He watched his receptionist walk out then quickly gulped down the medication for his headache. Toadie leant back in his chair and rubbed his temples gently.

He hadn't been sleeping much lately. He'd been having the dreams again. The same dreams on a constant rotation.

Dreams about Dee.

He first began having them right after the accident. They invaded his precious REM time every night, making him wake up in a cold sweat. As the months passed they frequented his sleep less and less as he became more accustomed to life without her. But now they had started again, even more disturbing than before.

Toadie glanced at his desk calendar.

20th July 2004.

He sighed. It was one day before the anniversary of Dee's disappearance.

- - - -

_The smell of the seawater hit him through the window. He snuck a glance over at his wife and smiled to himself in contentment. He loved that he could call her his 'wife' now. Her hair was blowing gently in the breeze, and she was gazing out the window with a hint of a smile on her face. God she's beautiful, he thought. They met each other's eyes and giggled like schoolkids. "Kiss me wife!" They leant in toward each other and met with their lips in the middle. He had only taken his eyes off the road for a second.___

_Only a second.___

_Their eyes widened in horror, as they broke apart and saw what was before them.___

_The cliff.___

_Brake! His mind screamed.___

_His foot fumbled for the pedal.___

_BRAKE!___

_The car glided off the edge of the cliff. The last thing he remembered seeing was the look of frozen terror on Dee's face._

Toadie's eyes snapped open as he awoke, gasping for breath. He lifted his hand up and wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, his hands shaking with the effort.

He lay there for a while trying to control his breathing. Trying not to think about the dream he just had… but the scenes wouldn't stop playing out, even when he rubbed his face, as if to try and scour away the pain.

Toadie swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up to get a drink of water from the kitchen. He opened the door of his room. A strangled cry escaped from his throat.

Dee was standing before him in her wedding dress. Her hair stringy, skin drooping, and she had a haunted look in her eyes.

"I'm back," she whispered in a croaky tone. "Back where I belong."

She stepped forward, but as she did, her foot crumbled into dust. She fell forward into Toadie's arms.

"DEE!"

Toadie woke himself up with his own screaming. He sat up with a start. He knew he was awake for real this time because the ache in his heart was so severe.

The alarm clock beside him said 4:30.

It was now the day of his first wedding anniversary.

Toadie looked down at his ring finger with tears welling up in his eyes.

"I miss you babe, I miss you so much."

- - - -

He was sitting at his desk staring solemnly out of the window. Everyone had suggested he just rest today, but he felt it would be better if he kept himself busy. Now he wasn't so sure. All he had done since arriving at the office that morning was slouch in his chair and alternate his view from out the window to the picture he kept of Dee on his desk. He probably would have been better at home.

There was a knock at the door and Sandra walked in.

"I've got your tablets again Mr. Rebecchi," she said, smiling kindly.

He tried to smile back but it was more like a grimace, so he settled for a nod.

She placed the items on his desk and went to walk out, then changed her mind and turned to face him. "Are you okay, Mr. Rebecchi?"

Toadie lifted his head up to look at her. The dreaded 'are you okay?' question. He was wondering who was going to ask him first.

"I'm alright. It's just my headache, that's all."

Sandra knew he wasn't alright, but she also knew that he wasn't in the mood to talk about it either.

"Okay."

She walked out of the room making a mental note to check up on him again in an hour.

He picked up the tablets. Then threw them in the bin. He decided that the pain could stay with him today.

- - - -

Toadie went home early. He got back and headed straight for his room. Stu and Connor had come by to see how he was, but he made out he wanted to sleep because of his headache and they left him alone.

He sat in the middle of the bed and looked at all the photographs that he had strewn around him. Photographs of himself and Dee.

He brushed his fingers lightly over the ones closest to him, smiling fondly at the memories. He picked up one of his favourite ones. It was of the two of them at a charity function. Dee had been hit in the face by a cricket ball and had a black eye and a bandage on her nose, so Toadie had made her feel better by drawing a black eye on himself and sticking on a bandage of his own. Someone had taken it when they were dancing and weren't looking directly at the camera. It was a beautiful unguarded moment.

He put it back down and picked up the one that he kept by his bedside. Dee had hated this photo and didn't know why he liked it so much. It was a picture of her lounging on the couch, wearing one of Toadie's tacky Hawaiian shirts, and giving Bob a cuddle. She thought she looked like a slob, but Toadie thought she had never looked more gorgeous. He loved the fact that she was wearing something of his – That someone this special wanted to be with him.

Toadie could hear familiar voices in the hallway. He scooped all of the pictures back into the box he kept them in and slid them back under the bed.

"Toadie?"

His bedroom door opened and his mum and dad appeared.

"Mum! Dad! What are you guys doing here?"

Angie and Kev came in. His dad clapped him on the shoulder, giving him a one-arm embrace, and his mum swooped over to engulf him in a bear hug.

"Whoa, steady on there mum! You'll bowl me over next time!"

Angie smiled. "I'm just really happy to see you sweetheart, is all."

"It's good to see you guys, too. Shouldn't you be at the roadhouse though?"

"Mate, don't you remember us calling the other day?" Kev asked.

Toadie looked at them blankly.

"You _do_ know what day it is, don't you Toad?" his mum said gently. "We came here so we could go with you to Dee's… resting place."

It all rushed back to him like blow to the head.

"Oh… that," he replied, swallowing hard. "I didn't remember."

Angie sat next to him and rubbed his back. "I think it'll be good for you son, it might give you some closure."

"Stop telling him what's best for him, Angie! Let the boy make a decision on his own." Kev glared at her.

She looked fiercely at her husband then trained her eyes back on Toadie. "Fine. Toadie, we don't have to go if you don't want to… but I really think it would do you the world of good."

Kev sighed in exasperation. "Couldn't help yourself could you, Ang, he…"

"I'll go," Toadie cut in quietly.

He got up to grab a jacket. Putting it on he looked back at his parents. "But I don't want to stay very long."

They nodded and gave him strained smiles.

Toadie walked ahead of them up the hallway.

"Stuart and Connor say he's been having the dreams again," Angie whispered to Kev.

Kev frowned. "I thought he'd gotten over them?"

Angie's eyes started to glisten. "It's obviously been playing on his mind again. My poor baby," she sighed sadly.

- - - -

The Rebecchi's car crunched over the gravel of the car park. Toadie finally lifted his head when he felt the vehicle come to a stop. He had kept his head down the entire trip there, just focusing on his wedding band, twirling it around from time to time. He hadn't taken it off since she placed it on his finger a year ago to that day.

"We're here, son," he heard Kev say.

He nodded and got out of the car.

At first he was too anxious to even move. The sight of Dee's memorial place brought back a lot of painful thoughts. Angie lightly held his arm.

"Let's take some steps."

She coaxed him gently into walking and they made their way to the side of the cliff where they had thrown roses off the side. Dee's favourite flower.

Toadie was going okay until he started to have the flashbacks.

The car going off the cliff.

The water rushing around his head.

Him yelling out for Dee.

The rescue helicopters buzzing overhead.

The emergency crew calling off the search.

"No, no, no, no," he called out, getting louder and louder each time.

"Shh, Toadie, it'll be alright. It'll be alright!"

He wouldn't listen though. "NO!" He broke free from his mum's arm and stormed back to the car. "Take me back!" he ordered sternly, his voice slightly breaking.

Angie and Kev watched helplessly as their son completely broke down.

"Take me back," he sobbed. "Please, take me back. I can't be here anymore."

They walked silently to the car and crouched beside him. Kev held on to his arm and Angie tenderly wiped the tears away from his face. 

"Okay, sweetheart. We'll go."

- - - -

His parents stayed with him awhile when they arrived back home, but he wasn't really in the mood for talking anymore, so they said goodbye and promised to come back the next day. Susan had offered to put them up for a few days seeing as she had so much room in her house now.

He lay on his bed with his arms folded behind his head. The moon was cascading in from the window. He hadn't bothered to close the curtains tonight. Eventually he drifted off into a listless sleep.

- - - -

Toadie could hear knocking coming from somewhere. He sat up and looked at the clock. It said 22:30. He slowly got up and went to investigate.

It was coming from the door.

He reached out his hand to open it.

His body constricted in shock when he saw who it was.

Dee.

She was in black pants and a cream jumper. Her hair was a brunette colour, cut into a shoulder length style.

She looked at him, her face twisting as she burst into tears.

"Jarrod…" she whispered. "I'm home."

Toadie knew he was awake because his heart ached… with happiness.

"Dee?"

_Continued…_


	2. Homecoming Part Two

**- - - -**

**Chapter Two**

**- - - -**

Toadie stood there in complete shock.

"Is it… is it really you?"

He gingerly reached out to touch her face, gasping slightly when he could feel her smooth skin under his fingers. He traced his hand along the side of her cheek and down through her hair.

"It's brown…" he blurted out.

Dee gave him a watery smile and leapt into his arms, the force making him take a few steps back. He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. She could feel his heavy sobs shaking her body as he allowed all his emotions to pour out.

She stroked his hair. "Shh babe, it's okay, it's okay."

Dee drew her head back so she could look at his face. Toadie looked up and their eyes met. His bottom lip was still quivering, but he was smiling. Something he hadn't done a lot of that past year.

"What happened to you?" he whispered.

She cast her eyes to the ground and loosened her grip a little from around him. "Maybe we should sit down," she said, nervously. 

Toadie nodded. She took him by the hand and led him to sit on the bed.

Dee bit her lip. "Jarrod… I've been in a witness protection program for the past year."

He looked at her dumbfounded. "You… you, _what_?"

"I've been in hiding, to protect my life, my family's life… yours especially."

Toadie shook his head in astonishment. "You're joking, right? This, this is just some bad joke…" He tried to process this new information in his mind.

Dee kept her hand intertwined with his when he tried to let go. "Let me explain. Please?"

She took his silence as a yes and continued. "Do you remember a man called Martin Cook?"

"The bastard surgeon that sexually harassed you? How could I not remember."

"And do you also remember how he lost his licence to practice after he was found guilty of sexual assault against that other nurse in West Waratah?"

"Yes."

"Well, he blamed me for ruining his life."

Toadie raised his eyebrows. "What? You never told me that, Dee. Why would he do that when it wasn't you who put him in jail?"

Dee fidgeted, "It _was_ me who put him in jail. Well, technically. I was the one who encouraged the nurse in West Waratah to make a statement against him after I told her what he did to me."

Toadie let go of her hand. "Huh."

She stood up and started to pace around the room. "When he went to jail, I started to get these threatening notes in my locker at work, on my mobile, even scrawled into my diary. He was a well-placed man in society, Jarrod. He had a lot of friends in high places."

She paused at the window. "The threats were so frightening. They always said things like 'You'll pay for what you did', and 'Watch out for your family'. I went to the police with them, but they couldn't trace them back to Cook even though I knew who they were from."

"Why didn't you tell me, Dee? Why did you keep this from me?"

"It was when we had broken up, I didn't want to bring you into it… I thought I could handle it on my own." She gave a bitter laugh, "Shows how wrong I was."

"When he found out that I had been to the police, the letters stopped coming. I thought everything was all right and he had just wanted to scare me. Then you and I got back together." She smiled at him, sitting back down on the bed. "Everything was back to normal," she said, wistfully.

"If everything was 'back to normal', why did you have to leave me?" Toadie said, trying not to let his hurt and frustration show.

Dee wiped away the tears that had begun to fall down her face. "I got a phone call on the eve of our wedding. Right before I went to Susan's for my Hens night. It was the police."

"_What_?"

"They had been keeping a profile on Cook ever since I had taken the threatening notes to them. Sergeant Douglas had taken an interest in the case, she knew the other victim personally. When they rang me they told me that Cook had been released on bail and they had strong suspicions that he was on his way to me."

"And you didn't tell me? Dee, what the hell were you thinking!"

He voice started to quaver. "Please don't get angry, Jarrod. Please."

"How could I not be angry? Partners are supposed to share _everything_ that goes on in their lives, not keep secrets from one another!" Toadie's eyes were shining with a fresh batch of tears.

"Jarrod, please listen to me! I couldn't tell you because you would have been in danger as well. You don't understand how serious this was!" Dee sobbed.

Toadie stood up walked away from her.

Dee got up and gently touched him on the shoulder. "Jarrod…"

He spun around, startling her. "Why did we have the wedding?" he seethed.

"I couldn't call it off. Not then. And I didn't want to call it off. I wanted to be as happy as I could be; I wanted to have one last beautiful memory of you and me before I had to leave. The police said the best option for me was to go away."

Something clicked inside of him, he finally understood. "You had to make Cook think you were dead, didn't you."

"Yes…" She took his hand. "I met with the police before my Hens night to arrange everything. I didn't want to do it Jarrod; you have to believe me on that. Nothing on this earth would have made me leave you; leave what we had… except for the thought that I could have put your life in danger by staying. That was what made me agree to abandon my life that I loved so much."

He looked at her dejectedly. "I could have come with you. We could have started life somewhere new. We always talked about going to Europe… we could have gone there," he said wistfully.

Dee smiled softly at him. "Don't think that didn't cross my mind either. I just couldn't expect you to desert everyone you love. It was bad enough I wasn't going to be able to see you anymore, my mum, Cecile, I didn't want to be responsible for two grieving families."

"The whole thing was planned. The police made sure the limousine was faulty, and they were the ones that tampered with the car Connor was using – That's why there was no default registered when you went to court about it, they had it covered."

She took a deep breath and continued. "I just had to make sure we hit the right mark on the road where the gravel was loose, and we did. Going into the water was the safest option because it softened the impact. I swam away to where my case handlers were waiting for me." She swallowed back her tears. "I could see you with Stu and Stonie when I was being driven away. My heart just broke into a million pieces, and I nearly made them take me back. They were stern but fair with me though and reminded me about why I was going through with it in the first place."

Dee tilted Toadie's head so he had to look at her. "I did it because I love you."

She kissed him on the back of the hand and smiled when she noticed his wedding band on his ring finger. She slid her free hand under the top of her jumper and fished out a necklace. Her wedding band hung around it. "You were always with me, my darling."

Toadie's anger and outrage began to melt away. He took Dee in his arms. "I love you so much." He leant down and kissed her on the lips. Softly at first, but their passion and longing took over. God he had missed her.

They came up for air. Toadie drew back. "Why choose now to come back?"

"Cook died of a heart attack last week. The police were finalising details for my re-entry back into my old life… but I couldn't wait to see you again. I had to let you know what happened."

"Oh my God!" he said joyfully, realising the impact this was going to have on his life. He was going to have his wife back. He was going to be happy once more – a concept that had been lost on him for too long.

He beamed at her. "When do you come back? When can we start planning the celebrations?"

She giggled at his eagerness. "Soon, in a couple more days. I promise."

Dee kissed him. "I have to go before someone sees me, but I'll be back tomorrow night."

He wrapped his arms around her tighter. "No, I don't want to let you go. Not again."

"I have to," she said gently, "but let me leave you with something that will make you believe me." She unclasped her necklace and placed her wedding band in his hand. "I _will_ be back," she said firmly.

Toadie kissed her, then reluctantly let her go.

Dee walked towards the bedroom door. "I love you," she smiled. He smiled back at her and watched her leave.

Toadie sat down in the armchair. His head was throbbing with all this new information he had just acquired. He opened up his hand and gazed at the ring cupped in it.

She was alive.

He put the ring carefully on his bedside table, closing his eyes. He was so tired. He just wanted tomorrow to come as quickly as possible so he could see Dee again.

Toadie slowly drifted off to sleep.

- - - -

He could hear knocking at the door. He woke up, rubbing his eyes. "Wha…?" His alarm clock said 11:48.

The door opened and Stu walked in. "You planning on sleeping the whole day, Toad? Are you feeling okay?"

"Nah I'm good, really good actually!" If only he knew _how_ good.

Stu strolled over to him. "So good you slept in your armchair?"

Toadie was about to respond when he saw Stu looking at his bedside table… right where he'd left the ring.

"Where'd you get…" Stuart began, but Toadie intercepted.

"I, I can explain about the ring. You see I found it outside and…"

Stu gave him a puzzled look. "I was going to say, where'd you get that picture of Dee from, it's really nice." Stu pointed to the photo of her sitting on the table, the one of her in the Hawaiian shirt Toadie had left out. "What's this ring you're talking about, mate?"

Toadie glanced at the table as a cold feeling washed over him. The ring was gone.

_Continued…_


	3. Homecoming Part Three

**- - - -**

**Chapter Three**

**- - - -**

Stuart gave Toadie a quizzical look. "Did you lose one of your rings?"

Toadie leapt up out of the armchair and began rummaging around the bedside table. "Where is it? Where's it gone?"

"Toadie, settle down! Tell me what's happened and I'll help you look."

"You don't understand!" he shouted frantically. "She was here, she left me her ring and she's coming back for it!"

"Who left a ring?"

Toadie turned around to look at him. "Dee… she was here… she's alive."

Stu's face altered in distress. "Mate," he said gently, "you've got to stop torturing yourself like this."

"NO! You don't understand, she was here. She's been in a witness protection program for the past year because her life was in danger." Toadie got down on his knees and peered anxiously under the bed. "Maybe I knocked it when I was asleep," he muttered.

Stuart grabbed his arm and tried to haul him upright. "Toadie, get up. Please."

Toadie pushed him away. "Let go of me!"

"Toadie, you've got to stop playing these games with yourself. It's not healthy. Dee's gone. We all miss her, but we've got to… _you've_ got to start putting your life back together."

Stu went to pull him away from his search once again when Toadie jumped up and started to push him away with more force than what was needed. 

"Stop telling me to forget about her!"

He pushed him again, harder this time.

"Stop telling me what's right and what's wrong."

Stuart was being backed into a corner of the room.

"She's alive, and she's coming BACK!"

Toadie's door burst open and a burly looking man rushed in. "Okay Mr. Rebecchi, I think you better calm down."

"No! Nobody believes me!" Toadie put his arms up in defence as the man came over to him, taking a firm grip on his shoulders and lead him to sit down. He pushed the intercom button next to the bed. "Sandra, I think you'd better bring Mr. Rebecchi's medication in."

Stu watched in sadness as the man tried to calm a hysterical Toadie down who was still trying in vain to look for the ring.

Sandra bustled in purposefully with the pills and water. "Here Mr. Rebecchi," she said kindly. "Take two of these and you'll feel much better."

Toadie seemed to snap out of his rage at the sound of her voice. "Sandra?" He slumped down on his bed in defeat. "It's okay Sandra, I don't have a headache today. Did you get those reports sent to Tim?"

She looked at him with a sorrowful smile. "Mr. Rebecchi, you know you're not at work." She sat next to him and patted his hand. "I'm the nurse of this ward, remember?"

He gazed at her, frowning slightly, then gave a sullen nod.

"Now you've got to take your medication, please. This is what happens when you don't take it. I'm sure your parents and your friends are anxious for you to get better as soon as possible."

Toadie turned his attention to Stu who gave him a weak smile.

"You've gotta take your pills, Toad. We want you back in the house of trouser and you won't be able to if you don't help yourself."

Toadie bit his lip to stop it from trembling. He took the medication and water from Sandra. He lifted the cup up to his mouth and slowly emptied the pills into it, then took a swig of water to wash the bitterness down.

He gave the empty cups back to her and looked at his hands. "I want to be alone. Please?"

Sandra, Stu and the orderly left the room in silence. Toadie curled up on his bed, staring at his wedding ring on his finger.

Stu faced them. "I'll call the Rebecchi's and let them know what happened. They'll probably want a chat with the co-ordinator."

- - - -

Angie and Kev sat in the office of the West Warratah Psychiatric Hospital with Brian Weisman, the co-ordinator of the establishment. Angie had been crying. Kev was sitting there looking rigid. Both looked extremely tired.

"So you're saying he had another episode?" Angie asked Brian, tearfully.

"I'm afraid he hadn't been taking his anti-depressants again. We had been working on a trust program with him to get some of his self-confidence back, but judging by this most recent episode he hasn't been returning the favour."

"Stuart said something about Toadie thinking Dee was back again," inquired Kev.

Brian leant forward in his chair, clasping his hands together. "Yes, I understand this time he fabricated a story that she had been in a witness protection program for the past year."

"And last time he said that she had amnesia and had been living as someone else until she suddenly got her memory back," Angie murmured to no one in particular.

"It's quite reasonable for him to be feeling like this around this time of year. It's been one year since the accident, hasn't it?"

Kev and Angie nodded.

"People with post-traumatic stress disorder are at their lowest around the time of the anniversary of the event. He's also been having the nightmares again quite frequently."

Angie's eyes filled up. "It's all my fault, I shouldn't have encouraged him to go to the cliff. I thought… I just thought it would make the recovery process quicker for him." She started to sob into her hands.

Kev put an arm around her. "Shh, Ang. It's not your fault, sweetheart."

"Then why isn't he getting better!" she cried out.

Brian gave them a reassuring look. "I know this is something very difficult for all of the family. We're going to continue to do all that we can to make Jarrod feel comfortable. His exposure therapy will be tough on him, but it's in his best interests to continue to relive his ordeal under the controlled conditions. It's hopeful that one day in the near future he will be able to visit that cliff top without feeling the stress and anxiety that he usually feels just thinking about it."

He stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll just go and get Jarrod's files and then we'll go and see if he's awake. I won't be a moment."

Angie watched him leave then turned to Kev. "It's like we're back at square one," she sighed despondently.

Toadie had first begun to show signs of distress about three months after the accident. He had been withdrawn, irritable, anxious, and had been having horrible nightmares that made him wake up in a cold sweat. After he had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, Angie and Kev thought it best for him to stay in the Psychiatric hospital. West Warratah being the best one they could find outside of Erinsborough and Colac. He had been making considerable progress after a couple of months, and had even been discharged, but before too long something inside of him was triggered which made him emotionally and physically unstable once more. Kev and Angie had no choice but to encourage him to go back to the hospital.

That had been a couple of months ago, and his progress this time around had been severely limited. The constant stream of familiar faces coming to visit him like Stuart, Connor and his family only lifted his spirits so much. He just wasn't the Toadie he was before the accident at the wedding.

Brian peered inside his office. "Would you like to see him now?"

Angie and Kev got up and followed him down the corridor.

- - - -

Toadie was still lying on his bed, facing away from the glass panel in the door to his room. He knew that his parents were watching him but he couldn't bear to look at them. His mum especially. He knew that they would be staring at him with pitying expressions and he didn't want to have to deal with that right now.

He wanted so much to feel like himself again and beat the depression that gnawed away at him, but for now he just wanted to curl up and sleep for a week.

Toadie grasped his cherished photo of Dee in his Hawaiian shirt tightly in his hands and scrunched his eyes shut, willing himself to sleep and praying that he wasn't going to have any nightmares. Or worst of all that his mind wasn't going to play tricks on him again and make him believe that she was back.

He'd already had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime.

_End_


End file.
